it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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