I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
