Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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