When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize