just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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