I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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