I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
