You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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