i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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