what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
