Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize