4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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