Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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