I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize