I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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