I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
