They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I party with great urgency now.
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