hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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