apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
