Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
