Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
