it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
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Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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