I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
