How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
