It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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