this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
