I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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