6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
