I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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