so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
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Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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