bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize