Apparently you make a good broom.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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