I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
