Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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