Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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