dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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