Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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