A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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