He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
