people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
