His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's shark week go big or go home
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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