So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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