It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
