Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  dude, i look like john mccains neck right now

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  (818): dude, i look like john mccains neck right now http://tfl.nu/y0kt
  Replies (5) Good night (635) Bad night (1353)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.

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  (571): i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me. http://tfl.nu/qg7x
  Replies (58) Good night (5614) Bad night (1125)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.

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  (603): Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty. http://tfl.nu/d4ib
  Replies (9) Good night (5278) Bad night (1090)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card

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  (832): I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card http://tfl.nu/wrdz
  Replies (4) Good night (3345) Bad night (921)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.

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  (941): there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship. http://tfl.nu/bd1c
  Replies (8) Good night (5054) Bad night (917)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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  (432): Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know. http://tfl.nu/dusl
  Replies (5) Good night (1427) Bad night (2932)
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  (707): View more from California

  I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER

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  (707): I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER http://tfl.nu/38g6
  Replies (28) Good night (968) Bad night (3769)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.

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  (225): Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper. http://tfl.nu/6qsz
  Replies (10) Good night (2173) Bad night (723)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever

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  (508): holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever http://tfl.nu/v6ie
  Replies (12) Good night (1529) Bad night (573)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.

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  (919): being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her. http://tfl.nu/7get
  Replies (13) Good night (2048) Bad night (642)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.

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  (320): Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later. http://tfl.nu/4ix3
  Replies (8) Good night (1412) Bad night (616)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.

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  (513): Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause. http://tfl.nu/cvb4
  Replies (2) Good night (972) Bad night (686)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.

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  (506): Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home. http://tfl.nu/evwu
  Replies (9) Good night (854) Bad night (468)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?

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  (402): What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life? http://tfl.nu/gmwz
  Replies (29) Good night (645) Bad night (387)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?

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  (952): I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood? http://tfl.nu/xtqf
  Replies (3) Good night (642) Bad night (288)

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