in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.