I am puke
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.