Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious

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(408): just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious http://tfl.nu/av2y

Replies (11) Good night (4508) Bad night (570)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home

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(423): headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home http://tfl.nu/dqj3

Replies (29) Good night (8917) Bad night (1133)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?

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(785): Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ? http://tfl.nu/syfm

Replies (10) Good night (684) Bad night (4042)
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(518): View more from New York

i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock

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(518): i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock http://tfl.nu/9mlf

Replies (9) Good night (6460) Bad night (911)
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(904): View more from Florida

he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?

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(904): he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french? http://tfl.nu/ofgx

Replies (26) Good night (7410) Bad night (946)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.

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(919): I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over. http://tfl.nu/red4

Replies (3) Good night (775) Bad night (1322)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka

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(618): I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka http://tfl.nu/yt16

Replies (4) Good night (1709) Bad night (1155)
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(415): View more from California

Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.

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(415): Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces. http://tfl.nu/n65u

Replies (4) Good night (513) Bad night (1270)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.

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(508): All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears. http://tfl.nu/qmop

Replies (15) Good night (607) Bad night (1195)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"

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(636): Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!" http://tfl.nu/8gr1

Replies (9) Good night (1845) Bad night (860)
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(708): View more from Illinois

First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.

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(708): First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night. http://tfl.nu/xjsn

Replies (3) Good night (1006) Bad night (395)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go

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(919): I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go http://tfl.nu/j7ma

Replies (4) Good night (511) Bad night (195)
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(541): View more from Oregon

is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??

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(541): is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to?? http://tfl.nu/l7wp

Replies (6) Good night (261) Bad night (455)
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(912): View more from Georgia

We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.

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(912): We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day. http://tfl.nu/r8kt

Replies (2) Good night (377) Bad night (239)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples

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(414): Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples http://tfl.nu/ypsl

Replies (3) Good night (185) Bad night (463)

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