Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you