Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.

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(949): View more from California

the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters

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(301): View more from Maryland

All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever

(509): View more from Washington

but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid

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(906): View more from Michigan

Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.

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(616): View more from Michigan

I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza

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(317): View more from Indiana

Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport

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(630): View more from Illinois

If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.

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