Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Porn is love you can see.

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  (586): Porn is love you can see. http://tfl.nu/c5qh
  Replies (9) Good night (1187) Bad night (714)
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  (209): View more from California

  kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.

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  (209): kindergarten is hard when you're hung over. http://tfl.nu/68v6
  Replies (23) Good night (5403) Bad night (959)
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  (914): View more from New York

  My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.

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  (914): My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control. http://tfl.nu/45m8
  Replies (47) Good night (1391) Bad night (3968)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat

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  (913): Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat http://tfl.nu/os6y
  Replies (29) Good night (6885) Bad night (1417)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it

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  (360): my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it http://tfl.nu/8lil
  Replies (12) Good night (4790) Bad night (958)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.

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  (919): its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night. http://tfl.nu/phgw
  Replies (73) Good night (8591) Bad night (1471)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie

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  (318): He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie http://tfl.nu/gshe
  Replies (10) Good night (1004) Bad night (2852)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.

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  (250): In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room. http://tfl.nu/ux5e
  Replies (2) Good night (2613) Bad night (867)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.

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  (407): Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time. http://tfl.nu/ap64
  Replies (4) Good night (692) Bad night (1323)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"

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  (617): I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night" http://tfl.nu/srds
  Replies (3) Good night (1287) Bad night (767)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule

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  (863): I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule http://tfl.nu/m3mw
  Replies (3) Good night (1104) Bad night (574)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.

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  (713): The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross. http://tfl.nu/mx32
  Replies (3) Good night (724) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST

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  (757): HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST http://tfl.nu/fouh
  Replies (4) Good night (605) Bad night (1178)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.

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  (425): I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me. http://tfl.nu/601h
  Replies (5) Good night (312) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney

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  (919): I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney http://tfl.nu/wjc0
  Replies (7) Good night (291) Bad night (476)

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