atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
