TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You're like the curious george of whores
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
