Duck Duck Cougar?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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