how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize