cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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