Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
