Heybabeimwearingurpanties
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
