I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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