jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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