well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
