oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
