I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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