Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
