one two three fourrrrnication!
I looked at my own cervix.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
