he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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