girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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