Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
