I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
