We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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