I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
