8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
