just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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